"God made birth control" . . .

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Recently, a local homeschool mom was asking for support after announcing she was pregnant with baby number 4 in 5 years. Apparently her extended family was not very excited. One person even said this to her:

“God made birth control, too. Why wouldn’t you use it?”

I was shocked. In fact, my actual response was, “Wow! Where is that in scripture?”
It might seem odd to you that I, the mom of an only, would have an opinion in this matter. In fact, I have been bombarded with questions indicating the opposite reaction to our family size:

“Are you only going to have one?”
“When are you going to adopt again?”
“Surely God wants you to have more children. What are you doing to make that happen?”

My answers have included “I hope to have more,” “we have tried to adopt again, several times, but it hasn’t worked out” and “if God wants us to have more children, then we will. We are doing everything we can.”
I have an opinion about this because it is one of those things that once again makes me think long and hard about truth. People are so quick to make judgments about what God wants or even what He says (about more than just family size) without seeking to find out what His word really says:

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them . . . ~Psalm 127:3-5

I mean really, I can think of nowhere in scripture where it even comes close to saying God made birth control and desires for us to use it to control His blessings. It’s so obvious that children are a reward from Him. How sad it is that we don’t understand that more fully.
Did He create humans, who became scientists, who figured out which combination of synthetic hormones could interfere with ovulation or implantation? Of course, but does that mean God wants all women to have 2.3 children, planned exactly 4 years apart? I hardly think so. In fact, I would dare say that many families are not receiving the blessings, the heritage, God intended for their family, because of the use of birth control.
Sometimes, He actually desires for a family to have 5, 8, 12 or even 20 children. 
And sometimes just one little boy.
We must be very careful when speaking about what we think God says. And we must be very careful about speaking  unkindly to pregnant women about the precious babies they are growing. Or to moms who have adopted one and had hoped for more. Words can hurt so deeply.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29

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  • Anonymous

    Well said,Marcy!

  • http://www.createdforhome.net/ Crissyanna

    Very well said. Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11466304320275842426 The Arbogast Family

    That’s the same comment I was going to make: Very well said, Marcy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked, “Are you DONE yet?” in front of my kids, as though they’re a scourge on the earth. :-( Some of the questions and remarks have even been downright crude. And, yet, like you said, people can be just as hurtful to moms of one. It has always been painful for me to announce another pregnancy in the presence of anyone who has struggled with infertility. My sister-in-law is one, and when our sixth was born, she actually told me (only HALF jokingly) that I was selfish for keeping him and not giving him to her! I felt simultaneously indignant for me and grieved for her. Anyway, I’m glad you brought this up. I think you have absolutely maximized your opportunity to pour yourself into the one amazing blessing God has given you. Some days I envy that, when I’m pulled in 6 different directions and do a lousy job with all of them. But God is Sovereign, and He knows what each of us needs to be molded more and more into His image. – Angela